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1 In fitness/ For Fun

How To Pack Your Ho-Bag

When you’re in your twenties, you’re probably going to be shacking up at someone else’s pad every now and then (or every other night, depending on your sex drive), so it’s important to prepare for such nocturnal excursions. Here’s a list of essentials to pack in your ho-bag.

http://www.hamptonstohollywood.com/kyle-langan/how-to-pack-your-ho-bag/


And you thought a ho-bag was just another derogatory name for some slutty person. HA! WRONG. Let’s take a sec and think about the genesis of the phrase: a “thirsty” person, who was smart enough to plan ahead, probably brought along a bag of tricks so they didn’t look like a hot little mess doing the walk of shame the next morning. Thus, the ho brought a bag with them; ergo, ho-bag.

But what should you pack in yours??

1. Pack for At Least 2 Days:
It’s important to remember, when packing your ho-bag, that you may give into temptation or spontaneity and want to extend your visit for another evening. No shame, no shame. But you WILL want to have a fresh pair of skivvies to change into on Sunday. Your hookup will thank you all the more for it. Unless you’re into going commando, which, ya know, is probably fine too…

2. Pack Something Semi-Formal, Always:
Even if its just a stately button-down, you might be asked on a nice date and you wanna make sure you can pull off the date-night look.

 
3. Work-Out Clothes:
You never know what kind of antics you might get into, especially if it’s a weekend. You could be lying in bed, naked, and HELLO! your SO/sex friend asks you to go hiking or engage in some type of physical activity, and all you have are last night’s jeans and Sperry’s. And if you are indeed a ho, your body is probably pretty snatch, so you won’t wanna turn down an opportunity to sweat, no matter how many calories you burned gettin’ freaky last night.

4. Moisturizer:
Nobody wants to hook up with a crusty face the next AM, so make sure to bring just a little vial of lotion to rub all over yourself to keep your flawless complexion. FLAW-LESS.

5. Hair Products:
Sex hair happens to the best of ’em, it’s just a fact of life. A little pomade goes a long way and can tame any mane from looking frizzy or unkempt. (FOR EXPERTS: a hair straightener if you’ve mastered the art of doing it in the most unlikely of locations and can get the job done on the fly.)

6. Toothbrush
Do I really have to explain? Morning breath is a no-no, no matter how sexy you are.

To Sum Up:
*Jeans, shorts, and a pair of casual slacks
*Button-down, tank, & a casual top
*Sneakers & Sperrys
*2 Pairs of undies & Socks
*Toothbrush, Hair Stuff, Body Lotion

If you fold everything nicely, all the above accoutrements can fit perfectly into a very small duffel. After all, you don’t wanna waltz in with your ginormous suitcase like you’re about to board a plane to backpack across Europe. Downplay everything and have fun, kiddos. And as always, wrap it before you tap it.

 {Cover Image via, gifs via giphy}

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1 Comment

  • Reply
    Kitty Bradshaw
    November 19, 2014 at 12:51 am

    UMMM it’s called a “Hoe-on-the-Go” bag.

    I pack them regularly lolll

  • Leave a Reply to Kitty Bradshaw Cancel Reply

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