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Date Night: Country Gal


Dating, anywhere on the planet, can be a hugely mystifying and gruesome experience. But dating in LA is a whole ‘nother ballgame. I had this girl over the other night (we’ll call her Tammy, in an effort to protect identities) and though there were some ups, overall the whole ordeal fell kinda flat.

♫ Just Keep Drinking, Just Keep Drinking, Drinking…

Basically, I just wanted a date. I hadn’t been on a “real” one in a while and I didn’t want to get rusty. I believe dating is a serious skill that, with practice, you can learn to hone and perfect to use in ways to either get people to sleep with you OR to find that that special someone. As Chris, my co-worker aka my Mr. Miyagi of dating, likes to put it; “The Right Girl vs. The Right Now Girl”.

I kind of went against my better judgment because I went into the evening knowing that there were some characteristics that I just could not handle in a long-term ladyfriend, thereby immediately putting her in the “Right Now” category. The biggest (southern) drawback – a love of country music.

Now, I’m not THAT shallow. I (think I) could potentially love someone who liked the musical genre, but already I’m on alert. Throughout the course of the “getting to know you” portion of the date where red wine is sipped and obligatory questions about interests, hobbies, and what’s-your-favorite-kind-of-alcohol arise, I found out that she’s an avid LINE DANCER. Okay. What baffled me most wasn’t the fact that she dances in/on/around a line, but the fact that she is the second girl I talked to in two weeks that engages in such questionable entertainment. AND that there are nightclubs completely dedicated to it.

Whatever. I gulped my wine, accepted it, and pressed on.

Now, I’m the kinda guy that doesn’t like games. I don’t like to play ’em and I don’t like ’em played against me. If you want something, do/act on it. Why beat around THE BUSH? Am I right? Already I could tell this was a chick with some heavily crafted game up her sleeve. I like to flirt, but gaming is different. I’ll play them if I must, but it has to be with someone who REALLY piques my interest. Really gets me or exudes an air of compatibility. Otherwise, it’s boring. Perhaps for some of the reasons listed above, plus the fact that there was this “when-I-don’t-know-what-to-do-I-laugh-about-something-we-just-talked-about-three-minutes-ago-that-wasn’t-funny” thing going on, I didn’t act as passionately as I might with Tammy had there been more mutual interests.

On the way out to her car afterward (yes, I walked her to her car because I’m a god damned gentleman) I spotted COWBOY BOOTS on the passenger seat AND she told me I reminded her of Edward Norton. Hmm. Norton. I have on good authority that he and I frequent the Gig Shack in Montauk, so he’s already on my good list, but when I asked if it was my looks or personality, she said “looks.” Because I didn’t have the balls to ask American History X skinhead-Norton, psychotic Fight Club Norton, or emotionally unstable The Hulk Norton, I have yet to know whether I should drastically change my look or not.

A second date remains to be seen.

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