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Spin Doctor

I think I might be on a fitness kick. I’m down with eating healthy, pilates has become an old hat, the gym is becoming more of a frequent place for me to hang, and I’m motivated to look as best as humanly possible; I guess that’s what California living does to you (?)

Add spinning to my list of new physical activity. Yes, I’m talking spinning, the crazy cycling class everyone has at least HEARD thanks to the blaring house music, screaming people, and sweaty smells that permeate each gym and/or studio. For some reason all these things appealed to me and I wanted to try it. The deafening techno-pop music wasn’t an issue because I used to work at Abercrombie, the screaming people would hopefully be drowned out, so it was just the dank sweatiness I had to overcome.

I walked into my first inaugural spin class and could not for the life of me figure out how to move the bike. Good thing I had been lifting because I basically had to pick it up (I’m sure it only weighed 300 lbs) to move it across the room. I heard snickering in the background; obviously everyone thought I was a complete idiot but no one bothered to tell me the bike had wheels. Thanks, ya schmucks.

After hopping on and fastening my feet to the pedals, I started to look at my competition. The other students in the room were an eclectic mix of overweight soccer-mom, old dudes trying to relive their fitness glory days, and 20-somethings like myself who wanted to look dead sexy. There was this cute Asian girl though (she was actually probably in her 40s, but she’s Asian so she looked 19 and amazing) in the corner who was SO READY she scared me.

Then Elsie, the trainer, came in and started screaming at us and cranked on the tunes. We were “biking uphill” so the resistance on my legs was utterly unbearable, but I powered through, not wanting to be stood up by the 60 year old retirees. We would “go all out” at times where we had to pedal as hard as we could, no matter the resistance.

Let me just say that I’ve never been especially good at riding bikes. I literally had training wheels until I was 8, so just staying on the seat was a triumph in itself. Meanwhile, the Last Samurai in the corner was pedaling so fast she looked like the freakin Road Runner and was legit SCREAMING at the top of her lungs in pain. Was this bitch in labor?? Was she going to be okay??

Apparently no one else seemed to share my concern as they too, started moaning and wailing, as if they were using their guttural cries of agony to propel them forward down (or were we still going up?) this imaginary mountain at 100 rotations per minute.

I didn’t start yelling, but kept my head down and tried not to laugh. Is this normal fellow spinners? Weigh in and let me know. Any crazy spinning stories??

[Images via, via]

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1 Comment

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    February 27, 2014 at 7:47 am

    your blog is terrible

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