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We Asked 5 Women: How Has Motherhood Changed Your Femininity?

How Has Motherhood Changed Your Femininity?

ON PREGNANCY…

benita robledo - femininity hamptons to hollywood

When I became pregnant I know my perspective on life would change, but I didn’t realize how much I would change emotionally during pregnancy. Everyone talks about morning sickness and swollen ankles, but it’s so much more than that. I’ve found that I’ve had to embrace the role of mother by mothering myself. I’ve become much softer with myself. Allowing myself to take breaks when I need them, cry when I have to, and most importantly rest. On the other hand, I’ve also discovered the fierce side of motherhood. Mothers are likened to mama bears for a reason! When I sense that something or someone is a threat to my child’s safety? WATCH OUT. All politeness goes out the window. I will do whatever I have to do to make sure I’m taking care of myself and subsequently my baby. My femininity has become both softer and harder at the same time, and I love the dichotomy of that.

Benita Robledo

ON BEING A MOTHER FOR 30+ YEARS…

FELICIA jackson embracing femininity hamptons to hollywood

At first, I think motherhood changed my brain. I became anxious and hypervigilant. My focus was on ‘mothering’; tending to and the protection of my baby, not caring if I looked feminine or ‘sexy’.Then I came to realize that all these changes were, in fact, the very essence of femininity, just not how I perceived them before I had a child. I think Motherhood, as a result, enhanced my femininity.

Felicia Jackson

ON NEW MOTHERHOOD…

angie hilem hamptons to hollywood

I’m 7 months postpartum which means my hair has stopped falling out and my baby sleeps through the night, but I don’t have time for my regular beauty services. Pre-baby, I was never without a fresh manicure, pedicure, or esthi procedure like a clarifying facial.


Regularly seeing my friends gave me a chance to dress nicely and apply much more makeup than I wear daily, but any time with friends now is majorly limited. Last night, I went on a date with my husband for the first time since welcoming our son to the world. My husband actually looked nicer than me!

I’ve got this new body that doesn’t look good in my old clothes and is too small for the clothes I’ve already purchased postpartum (I’m shrinking).

I’m not high femme. Though I love wearing dresses sometimes and experimenting with makeup, I also enjoy a good flannel and beanie situation with a fresh face. This has always been me. I love being a mom but my opportunities to get dressed up, do my hair AND makeup are few and far between. It honestly hasn’t happened yet.
And that’s okay. My son is healthy and happy and I can put my style on hold for a bit longer because I just don’t have the resources (read: nanny, house cleaner, personal chef) to be here for my kid AND here for my appearance. I certainly try my best, though.

Angie Hilem

ON GRANDMOTHERHOOD…

Hamptons to Hollywood Embracing Femininity grandmotherhood

Being a grandmother has been such a rewarding experience for me – and was something I never put much thought into when I was young. Because I didn’t have expectations for what being a grandmother would be, it’s been all that much more rewarding.

With six grandchildren, each one has taught me something new and different about the world, and also about myself. When my first grandchild was born, I experienced a kind of love that was so new and so contrasting to the other loves in my life (husband. children, friends). It was full of tenderness and excitement, but also pride. For the first time, I experienced a sense of empowerment that had everything and nothing to do with me. My family line was expanding, and to see the specks of myself in a brand new generation gave me purpose and a feeling that I had created something long-lasting.

Joan Clause

ON ADOPTION…

I believe that being a mother is one of the primary attributes of femininity.  I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to be a mother.  Having such a long and convoluted journey to motherhood has made me appreciate more fully the privilege and experience of motherhood and all that it encompasses.  Becoming a mother through adoption was a delightful and amazing experience for me. When I held my baby for the first time, I instantly became a mother.  It didn’t matter that I didn’t birth him.  I didn’t have the opportunity to create life but I have had the opportunity to nurture life and to me, that is what is important.  I don’t feel any less feminine having become a mother through adoption and I don’t really feel like being a mother has made me any more or less feminine. Becoming a mother indoctrinates a woman into a quiet club that one can only experience through motherhood.  I remember feeling surprised by the profound love that came with motherhood and realizing that even though I knew I had been missing something, I didn’t understand how big it was. It is a feeling that is hard to describe or understand until you experience it. 

Jacqueline McCormack

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